Marriages .. (Part I)

Good morning everybody, I wanted to talk about this topic for sometime now. why this topic is important? because its the institution that produced us .. and will produce the next generation, and so on ..

when the family is a healthy environment, the products of it is as well healthy. here, i'd like to present my philosophy of families .. and how things going, and how it should go ..

plus, i'd love to hear of what you think friends,

first of all, marriages can be classified into to types according to the initiating method ..

1. The Classical (conventional) Type: where mothers and sister and females in the family visit another family and check out the bride-to-be,then, after the approval of the initial (examination) the groom-to-be comes to check too, now a days, its allowed for both to set for one or two short sessions far from the group to "get to know each other", and of course after the approval of both sides, they cultural ways take over with remaining procedure steps.

2. The Relationship-Based Type: where the male and female meet somewhere (work, uni, neighborhood, on-line) and start talking to each other on daily bases, communicate and get to know each other, of course with the available methods of communication (phone, internet) things got easier in this part. after some time spent with each other, usually, there is going-out dates, and experiencing adventures with each other, and when the two side agree that this partnership between them is doing well, and think it will last, the male introduce himself to the female's family, and present his request to marry her. and the cultural ways take over once more.

well, my heart goes with the second type, why?

its obvious, in the second type, both parties will have the chance to know each other much much more, and this will provide a raw ground for a much healthier family, in the second type you'll have much more experience with other side, you'll know how to deal with issues and how to fix problems that normally rise through the course of marriage life.

for argument sake, one will say:

A. why to fix what's not broken? the conventional way is doing just fine for our society?

actually, its broken, i've noticed how females these days look to conventional marriages, a totally negative view. this came (as i think) from the high education the females is getting these days, not the school/uni education only, the openness to the world through media and internet also, and the cultural changes happened in our society in the past 25 years or so.

girls aren't the weak suppressed abused humans they used to be in the old days, they've grown characters and charisma high functional brain, and this give them the chance to make decisions and think of themselves as they should be. (this a very long topic i might discuss in more detailed way later).

B. love stories and relationships are all just bullshit, its a pinky world for the females, and its a way for males and females to fool around and use the other said for their own gains.

true, when u abuse the privilege of forming a relationship with the opposite sex. and that comes as i think from two factors. (1) the human nature, and that we can't help with (some people are just the abusing type). (2) the half understanding of the concept of the relationship (aka love story). i.e. society prevents it, youngsters feels its thrilling and rebellion-sh to make one, without understanding the true goal or where it should go, (i'm not defending the western societies, they go into relationships for sexual gain mainly, but i can't judge it, their culture and society allows it). the second factor can be fixed by educating the youngster more about the concept or relationships and how you can form an aim-ful respectful one.

C. Do you feel ok if your sister/s make relationships? (its an irrelevant question though)

the way people with no perspective and opinion will react on such post, and sadly we've got a lot of them between us. my answer will be YES, when she decided to so, i won't mind, in fact i'll encourge it, she is a female with good brains, she can decided for herself, and i'd love to answer all of her questions about the opposite sex, and would love to meet the guy she is talking with, in the early stages, to protect her and discuses with her things she might didn't put much attention into.

D. Relationships are "Haram" in Islam and our society and religion prevents its.

well, here comes the tightly religious people, with those the argument would last for hours.

I'm a Muslim, and thankful to god to be. the first verse Holy Qur'an was (Iqra' = read), from this i conclude one thing, Islam is the religion of brain, I need to think things through, I don't need to follow some (shaikh) blindly. i can't believe any (shaikh) without thinking of what he says thoroughly. regarding the topic I'm talking about here, respectful relationships includes public places, phone calls, and if u don't want all of that, u can simply move to the chatting zone, its free of (ekhtilat) and it can be useful.

please friends, your opinion is very much appreciated..

and wait for my next post, Marriages .. (Part II) in the near future.